Tips on Setting Up a Three-Way: Advice from a Unicorn
Hi there, I’m a woman who likes sleeping with men and women (and other genders). Guess what I often get asked? Yup. “So, like you interested in couples?” Or .. “Know any hot girls who’d want to join us?” Or … “Hey, I’ve got a buddy …”
Look, I’ll be honest … three-ways are one of my favorite things. I effing love them. And most of the time I’m personally not offended when asked to participate. BUT, and this is a big but (haha, that’s sort of punny … ahem), when it comes to asking for a third person’s participation in sexy times, I think there are some best practices to make sure everyone has warm and fuzzies about it.
Don’t mention three-ways as soon as a person admits they’re interested in more than one gender.
It’s not funny or flirty. It actually just feels objectifying. Doing someone the basic courtesy of getting to know them a little before bringing up your fantasy reassures them that you actually see them as a person.
Start thinking about and talking about threesomes in a way that’s not just about sex.
Because they're not. They involve three unique individuals who have worth and emotions. Practical examples of what to do and what not to do:
What not to say
"Do you have any sexy friends?"
"All I’m really interested in is two mouths on my dick."
Better
"I’d really love the opportunity to see someone else making you happy. If you know of anyone that would be interested in sharing that moment with me, it would be an honor."
"I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have two mouths on my cock, but we’ll only do what makes all of us feel comfortable. And I’m very interested in what would make you feel good."
If you’re planning on having this ménage à trois with a significant other, talk it through with them before mentioning it to someone else.
Seems self-explanatory. Don't put your loved one on the spot and make them feel obligated.
If you plan to have a threesome with someone you don’t know well, how much time you should spend together beforehand varies person to person.
I want to say that the more comfortable everyone is with each other, the better things go, but some of my favorite experiences have been with people I just met. Trust what you and your significant other need to feel comfortable and ASK the other person. Do they want to get drinks or dinner first? Hang out a couple of times? You’re asking for something very intimate, so do your best to accommodate their needs.
Let them know how excited you are! Flirt beforehand! Seriously, the more you communicate, the more likely you’ll be to communicate during the threesome itself. And communication is key to everything.
