PYP Summer Must Reads: Nonfiction

On the Pursue Your Pleasure blog, all of May is devoted to pleasure-positive summer reads starting with these four non-fiction titles offering intelligent and sometimes humorous sex-positive content. Have something we should add to the list? Let us know!

Outside the XY: Queer, Black and Brown Masculinity

This anthology of over fifty pieces from non-cis queer people of color explores the many aspects of masculinity, including sex. The truest sex-positivity isn't idealized; it doesn't hide the complications of sexuality and identity, the pains of love, desire, and complicated self-esteem. In  Outside the XY: Queer, Black and Brown Masculinity, edited by Morgan Mann Willis, sex, bodies, and identity are written about with vulnerability and empowerment. Such as this excerpt from trans writer Ola Osaze's essay, "Beautiful Tall Boy":

Those acts of sex, confusing in their mix of nonconsensual and consensual, seemed to lead me to the encounter with the beautiful tall black boy. Shame, my ever present and dutiful companion, sat in the corner of the bed looking at us as we fucked like zoo-ed creatures responding to a primal urge with no care for the bars surrounding us. He fucked me like he didn’t give a fuck if I liked it or not, which unwittingly meant that I liked it even more. The reckless-abandon and do-what-you will-ness we drew around us like a safety blanket and hung on hard. At one point I looked back at him and this time his face was distorted, not by disgust, but deep pleasure. Teeth bared and clenched, his eyes opening and closing. Opening and closing as if to the rhythm of his penetrations. I enjoyed that too.

Closer: Notes from the Orgasmic Frontier of Female Sexuality

Closer: Notes from the Orgasmic Frontier of Female Sexuality opens with a conundrum: in this time of sexual liberation, why do so many women (which seems to be defined by the author as people with vulvas) have issues claiming their own pleasure? Barmak looks the overwhelming statistics of women who have a difficult time enjoying sex or orgasming. And then she digs in to all the ways that women are seeking to find an answer to this problem. She sums it up well on her own:

Closer delves into the cutting-edge science of sex that’s being done in fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) machines and in labs, where we’ll meet researchers striving to understand the matrix of female sexuality as a whole — the complex nerves, hormones, neurotransmitters, neural circuitry, emotions, cultural pressures and expectations that all contribute to arousal, satiety and well-being. […] We’ll also explore the adventurous ways some women are redefining their sexuality, whether by attending live demonstrations of orgasm at Burning Man or seeking unconventional therapists who use sensual touch to heal trauma … This is the art and craft of women’s sexuality, as opposed to the science. It is weird, wonderful and at times bizarre. This book offers a brief tour through this juicy, exciting frontier.

I Have Devoted My LIfe to the Clitoris

For lovers of Maggie Nelson or other literary essayists, Elizabeth Hall’s book I Have Devoted My Life to the Clitoris is smart, lyrical, personal, and wonderfully physical.

Excerpt:

THE CLITORIS IS SMALL EXCEPT WHEN ITS NOT

- Often I have longed for a single exquisite fuck cataclysmic enough to permanently snuff all the other needs of my body: eating, sleeping, not sleeping, shitting, or, for one, the need to be touched all over, all at once, when there is no one but me in the apartment.

- The clitoris possesses 8,000 nerve endings and consists of three major parts: the glans, body, and crura. The erectile portions are composed of the cavernous and vestibule bulbs.

- When in the midst of an otherworldly migraine, or eight-day insomnia haze, I endure a near constant communion with my body: I am aware of its immense powers, limitations, ability to humiliate my intelligence entirely. No sooner do I feel as if I have “figured it out,” could predict the onset of a migraine down to the most infinitesimal detail, do I find myself leveled out in bed, face spangled with sweat, hair slicked with vomit. I must submit, let myself go with it, knowing I will emerge, as with many of life’s most lonely and degrading things, having learned nothing whatsoever.

- If there is any sort of epiphany, “convalescent euphoria,” that accompanies such pain, it does not stem from the ache itself, but rather, my release from it. What no drug, practiced “mind over matter” technique can accomplish: I let my finger linger over and around my clit, and with the first flush, feel the happy little ants dancing in the tip top notch of my cunt, down my legs, onto my feet. No matter that the pain will return in mere minutes. To have felt such freedom, any release at all.

- The clitoral shaft, which feels like a piece of cord, is attached to the glans and rises underneath the skin about an inch towards the mons. When aroused, I roll my finger across it for extra pleasure. At the top of the shaft, it splits; two legs curve downward, like a wishbone. These are called crura, the Latin word for legs. It is not possible to see or feel the legs. Although I have tried.

Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life

Any curvy person will tell you that sex can work a little differently with bigger bodies. That's where sex educator Elle Chase comes in with her new book Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life. Chase offers sex positions and other tips for people with curves. (BTW, this book is queer and trans friendly).

Excerpt:

The Versatility of Pillows

You’re going to hear me endlessly sing the praises of pillows for a majority of the positions in this book, for good reason. They make sex easier in so many ways. If you have a big butt and you’re the bottom partner, placing a pillow under your hips will take the pressure off your lower lumbar. If you’re trying downward doggy style and your boobs are feeling squished, try placing a pillow under them. Using supports under your bum or under your tum to raise your hips to meet your lover’s cock or strap-on provides greater access for entry and enables gravity to help fleshy parts pull away from the genitals as well. When using pillows, make certain that they are firm enough to elevate the hips at least 6 inches (15 cm); you can go lower or higher depending on comfort. A pillow (or a couple of them) can tilt your hips high enough to let gravity direct flesh away from the genitals.

A lot of people use bed pillows, but bed pillows don’t usually offer enough support because they are easily flattened, especially after a long bout of lovemaking. Sofa cushions or throw pillows are better choices for getting down, as they are probably the firmest pillows you’ll have available. Personally, I find that the industrial foam used in the Liberator sex furniture products, particularly the Wedge and Ramp, support me more reliably. The Wedge is small enough to store under the bed, and the Ramp can be popped in a closet for easy (and discreet) access.